"Let us love one another, because love is of God." (1 John 4:7)
The liturgy of marriage is a moment of joy and celebration. In our Catholic tradition, we hold that the couples themselves minister this sacrament or the vows to one another. While it is necessary that an official witness of the Church preside over the celebration (a Priest or Deacon), the active involvement of the couple in every aspect of planning the celebration is essential.
TO BEGIN, PLEASE CLICK THE MARRIAGE INTAKE FORM BELOW AND RETURN IT TO THE RECTORY.
We look forward to welcoming you to St. Martin of Tours and assisting you along the way. The first two sections below (general questions & marriage preparation) describe our program of marriage preparation: preparing for a lifetime together. The next three sections (three through five) describe preparing for the wedding celebration. Ideally, formal marriage preparation should begin at least six months in advance to allow the process of marriage preparation to take place in a thoughtful and prayerful way, for “a marriage is a lifetime, a wedding is a day.
Where do we begin?
We ask you to download the form below and return it to the office either by fax or email. Once the form is received the Rectory Office or the Parish Priest will contact you for an initial meeting to learn about our process of marriage preparation. After this initial meeting, specific arrangements can be made with the Priest. At least one of the parties must be a baptized Catholic who is an active, registered parishioner of St. Martin, or who has family who are parishioners.
When do we set the date?
Provided there are no special circumstances that arise at this first meeting, a date and time of the ceremony will be set. Please note that there is at least a six-month preparation time required for marriage.
IF THERE IS A PRIOR MARRIAGE BOND (i.e., if either you or your proposed spouse were previously married, regardless of where the wedding took place), NO DATE CAN BE SET FOR THE WEDDING UNTIL FINAL PERMISSION HAS BEEN GRANTED BY A MARRIAGE TRIBUNAL OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH.
What are the times available for Weddings?
Weddings are generally held on Saturdays. The latest start time is 3:00 p.m. Weddings can also be scheduled for earlier in the day on Saturdays or on weekdays. Please discuss with the priest at the first appointment.
Who will answer our questions about the wedding itself?
The questions which specifically deal with the liturgy itself, i.e., the choice of readings, whether or not to have a “full Mass” or a “ceremony”, etc., will be answered by the Priest or Deacon you have chosen to witness your marriage. Questions concerning things like floral arrangements, decorations, photographs and the like will be explained by our parish Wedding Coordinator. Our parish Wedding Coordinator provides an invaluable service, which includes scheduling the rehearsal itself, and making sure everything runs smoothly the day of your wedding. The planning of music for your wedding will be assisted by our parish Music Minister.
What if we are getting married elsewhere?
For those couples being married in a Catholic Church outside the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, we are happy to assist you with your marriage preparation. In order to avoid confusion and enhance communication, we must receive a written notice from the local Pastor of the other Catholic church giving us permission to perform preparation here and notifying us of any special requirements or forms that they would like us to use. Once again, the specific arrangements with the Catholic Church in question must be verified before we can begin any preparation work at St. Martin of Tours. Please see attached schedule of stipends for Marriage Preparation for a ceremony elsewhere.
For those couples desiring a wedding outside a Catholic Church, whether it is within the Archdiocese of Los Angeles or elsewhere, you must obtain the necessary permissions for the ceremony before we can begin any preparation work at St. Martin of Tours.
Required Documents
Since marriage celebrates the unbreakable commitment between a man and a woman who are free to make this mature decision in the community of believers, certain documents are required to establish your sacramental status within the Church, your freedom from any previous unions, as well as sworn statements attesting to your clear understanding of the nature and responsibilities of Marriage. The following are required documents:
1. Baptismal Certificate
A newly issued copy of your baptismal certificate (with notations regarding confirmation and prior marriages) is required for those who are Catholic. This can be obtained by contacting the Church of Baptism. Simply let them know that you are getting married, and ask for a copy of your baptism certificate with notations. They will know what to do. [The certificate with notations should have information about your confirmation. If not, please provide a copy of your confirmation certificate.] For those baptized in another Christian faith, a copy of the original baptismal certificate is sufficient. If you are not baptized, simply let the priest know.
2. Letters of Freedom (forms provided by the parish)
This is a sworn statement, witnessed by a Priest, minister or notary public, attesting that you have never been married before, in either a Church or civil ceremony, and that there is no known impediment to the marriage. Parents normally fill this out, or others who have known you most or all of your life. Two witnesses are required for each party to the marriage. [We also have specific Letters of Freedom for those who are widowed and those who have been granted a Church annulment.]
3. Permissions and Dispensations
In the case of an “Ecumenical Marriage” (the union of a Catholic and a person baptized in another Christian faith), a Permission for Mixed Marriage form must be completed by the Priest/Deacon and either signed or witnessed by the parties. In the case of an “Interreligious Marriage” (the marriage of a Catholic and a person that has not been baptized), a Petition For Dispensation From Disparity of Worship must be completed by the Priest/Deacon and either signed or witnessed by the parties.
In both cases, the parties are expected to demonstrate a willingness to commit themselves to honest dialogue concerning their respective religious traditions, and to make sincere efforts to understand and respect each other’s beliefs.
As part of the process, the Catholic party signs a declaration stating that he/she is prepared to remove dangers of falling away from the faith, and promises to do all in his/her power to have all the children baptized and brought up in the Catholic church. The non-Catholic party acknowledges an awareness of the obligations of his/her Catholic spouse to preserve and profess his/her faith, and to do all possible to baptize and educate the children of the marriage in the Catholic faith.
4. Civil License
The County Court registers all civil documents. Therefore, any questions you have regarding the procurement of the civil license or other civil concerns should be addressed to the Court. Licenses are valid for ninety days from the date they are issued. The marriage license must be presented to the Parish Secretary no later than one week before the wedding date. Please note that it is against the law for the ceremony to take place without a civil license. You may obtain additional information at the Los Angeles County Register-Recorder/County Clerk website: https://www.lavote.net/home/county-clerk/marriage-licenses-ceremonies/general-info
5. Pre-Nuptial Inquiry
This documents your freedom to marry and is generally completed at the initial interview.
Preparation for Marriage is far more than just the gathering of required documents. At the heart of responsible marriage, preparation stands the opportunity for you to seriously reflect in a comprehensive and challenging way on the meaning of this important step in your lives. While reflection and in-depth sharing of your future together has undoubtedly already begun, we offer further opportunities for you to reflect on your lifelong journey with each other.
FOCCUS COMMUNICATION TOOL
Each couple begins by completing a communication study tool called FOCCUS (Facilitating Open Couple Communication Understanding and Study). This instrument is designed to assist you in being attentive to the areas in your relationship which need development, and to affirm you in those areas of strength. Arrangements should be made to complete FOCCUS and review it with a therapist shortly after your first appointment. To see our recommended therapists, please click here. Ideally, the FOCCUS would be comlpeted and reviewed before attending a Marriage Preparation Program.
MARRIAGE PREPARATION PROGRAMS
Each couple is required to complete a Marriage Preparation Program offered by the Archdiocese. To learn more, please visit: https://familylife.lacatholics.org/marriage-prep-programs. Notice that there is BOTH (1) a one-day option and (2) a weekend option (Catholic Engaged Encounter - ceeofla.org). Please consider the weekend experience since it gives you a more robust experience and more time together.
After reviewing the options offered, please discuss with the priest assisting with preparation before making arrangements. Ideally, the Marriage Preparation Program would be completed four months before the wedding.
In addition, you will meet at least three times with the Priest/Deacon witnessing your wedding: (1) the initial meeting at which wedding dates are reviewed, (2) a follow-up meeting to discuss the FOCCUS tool and Engaged Encounter Retreat or Marriage Preparation program, and (3) a third meeting to finalize the plans for the wedding. Additional meetings may be scheduled as needed.
What else should we be doing to prepare best for our sacrament?
Our ministry at the parish is to assist you as an engaged couple. The most important part of your preparation for marriage is your own relationship with Christ the Lord, who leads and guides you through life. You are encouraged, therefore, to pray for the graces and strength to respond generously to God’s call to the vocation of Marriage. The required steps for marriage preparation should be viewed not so much as goals to be accomplished but as challenges to grow in the practice of your faith.
Because of the importance of this sacrament for the Church, and realizing the many tensions and conflicts which arise in our busy lives today, participating in the life of the Church by being faithful to Mass is necessary for a healthy and lasting marriage. The Lord taught us, “without me, you can do nothing.” Our entire happiness and security is always found in being faithful to the Lord. The celebration of the Sacrament of Reconciliation (confession) is highly recommended for all who share the Catholic Faith as part of your spiritual preparation for marriage. Confessions are regularly scheduled as listed in the parish bulletin. Please note that confessions are not celebrated at the time of the rehearsal.
All couples are required to use the services of the Wedding Coordinator of the parish who will assist them with any questions they may have about church regulations regarding their wedding celebration. You may call the wedding coordinator at any time after your date is set to discuss the details of your ceremony. The Wedding Coordinator will direct the rehearsal and will also be at the wedding liturgy to ensure that all goes smoothly. The stipend for the services of the Wedding Coordinator is listed on the attached schedule of stipends. It is to be given at the time of the rehearsal.
Wedding Rehearsal
An important part of the preparation for the wedding celebration is the wedding rehearsal. It is essential that all members of the wedding party be present for this rehearsal as well as any individuals whom you have selected to proclaim the scripture readings during your celebration. Out of respect for the Wedding Coordinator, as well as any other rehearsal that may be planned, please make sure that your entire wedding party arrives on time. Your rehearsal time is limited to one hour. Please call the wedding coordinator no sooner than 4 months prior to your wedding date to schedule your rehearsal date and time.
At the wedding rehearsal, please give the following items to the Wedding Coordinator:
In this way, there will be nothing to forget on your wedding day!
Environment
The most important thing on the day of your wedding is your spiritual readiness to begin the task of deepening your bonds of love within the context of a truly Christian relationship. Celebrating this moment of decision far outweighs concerns over pictures, flowers or decorations. It is often the case, however, that couples have questions regarding the use of these enhancements to the liturgical environment. We therefore provide the following guidelines.
Flowers
Floral arrangements enhance the beauty of any environment and we welcome your creativity with regard to this area. Please be mindful of the fact that as a sacramental celebration, the principal goal of liturgical environment is to help convey the mysteries of God’s saving love, and not merely to decorate space. For this reason, the following guidelines must be followed by your florist. Please provide them with a copy of the form letter to florist: Letter to Florist.
Photography and Video
We want to make sure that your wedding is a day that you remember and a day that you can view again. A Catholic wedding ceremony or Mass is primarily a celebration of a couple’s love in union with our worship of God as an act of thanksgiving for this love. Therefore, we must make sure that while we catch this moment on film, we keep the primary emphasis in focus. For this reason, the following guidelines must be followed by your photographer. Please provide them with a copy of the form letter to photographers and videographers: Letter to Photographer.
The liturgy of marriage is a moment of joy and celebration. In our Catholic tradition, we hold that the couples themselves minister this sacrament or the vows to one another. While it is necessary that an official witness of the Church preside over the celebration (a Priest or Deacon), the active involvement of the couple in every aspect of planning the celebration is essential.
This planning should always keep in mind that the ceremony is first and foremost a moment of prayer for all who are present. All aspects of the celebration should reflect the noble simplicity befitting Christian worship.
Planning
Together with the Priest/Deacon who will be presiding at your liturgy, you will have a part in planning your ceremony. He will provide you with a copy of the wedding booklet, Together for Life, along with a liturgy planning sheet. On your final meeting with him, you will discuss the specific readings from Scripture and liturgical options that you have chosen. He will help clarify any further questions you may have regarding the ceremony at that time. You will also need to schedule a meeting with the Music Coordinator regarding music.
Scripture Readings
There are generally three readings from Sacred Scripture Readings: one from the Old Testament, another from the New Testament and a third from the Gospels. The readings can be found by following these links:
Mass or Ceremony?
SAMPLE OUTLINES & PRAYER OF THE FAITHFUL: (1) Wedding Mass, (2) Wedding Ceremony without Eucharist.
Should you celebrate your marriage in the context of a Mass or a non-Eucharistic ceremony?
When a wedding is celebrated at Mass, the Rite of Marriage takes place after the Liturgy of the Word and the homily. The Liturgy of the Eucharist then follows. When a wedding is celebrated outside of Mass, it is celebrated within the context of a Liturgy of the Word in which the Rite of Marriage takes place after the homily. This Rite concludes with prayers and blessings.
You should make your decision in consultation with the Priest/Deacon who is assisting in the preparation of your marriage. You will want to consider the following points:
Ministers of the Celebration
In addition to you (who as a couple are the ministers of the sacrament or vows of Marriage) and the Priest, others will have important ministerial roles in your wedding celebration. Members of your wedding party, particularly ushers, will greet the invited guests in a spirit of hospitality and welcome. Our parish pastoral musicians will provide a musical setting that respects the dignity of this moment and that will support sung prayer by all. Beyond these ministries, we ask you to consider individuals who might function in the following special roles in your wedding:
Other Elements
Signs, symbols and gestures are intrinsic to worship, but an overabundance of them tends to become superfluous and redundant. The primary symbols of your marriage covenant are the exchange of vows and rings, and if a Nuptial Mass is celebrated, this includes the sharing of the one bread and the one cup as a sign of unity and love. Together with these essential signs and symbols, others of a secondary nature are sometimes used:
In determining to include additional elements in the ritual of marriage, couples should be aware that where liturgy is concerned, “less is often more.” That is, focusing on doing the key elements well and with care will be much more satisfactory for both the couple and the assembly than trying to do too many things at once. Please feel free to discuss these elements carefully with the Priest/Deacon arranging your wedding before making a decision.
Catholic weddings are a celebration of love in the context of our worship of God. Therefore, the music chosen for Catholic wedding liturgies must always be sacred music appropriate to Catholic liturgy. All couples have favorite songs that mean very much to them. We would suggest that the appropriate time for these songs to be played would be at the reception. The use of tapes and CD’s is not permitted.
Our Music Director will assist each couple in planning the music for their wedding. To assist couples in the process, we have assemble a list of Suggested Wedding Music.
Each couple must make arrangements to meet with the Music Director at least four to six weeks before the wedding. At the meeting, all music selections will be documented on the WEDDING MUSIC POLICY AND APPROVAL FORM. This form, signed by the Music Director, must be returned to the Parish Secretary no less than four weeks before the wedding.
Our parish musicians and singers will provide all music (per the schedule of stipends). If you want to invite other qualified liturgical musicians to assist under the guidance of our Music Director, they must be approved by the Music Director in consultation with the pastor. Such approval must be documented on the WEDDING MUSIC POLICY AND APPROVAL FORM.
Information coming soon.